Let's get the big one outta the way first - godhood. So I was discussing this bit a while ago with someone, the possible future of mankind - an idyllic utopia of humans+, designed to want for nothing; a world of freedoms and true equality; a world without poverty, hunger, war... and perfection. Science is quickly approaching a point where we can start improving ourselves - physically, mentally, perhaps even emotionally. I am (as some of you may have gathered by now) a transhumanist. I believe that evolution is fine and dandy and all, but a bit slow for my taste. Between the fields of genetic engineering, nanotechnology, and cybernetics the future of homo sapiens seems very exciting - if you have the money. This is the main point many who oppose transhumanism bring up, or at least the main point worthy of mention in my opinion. The cultural divide between rich and poor is already terrifyingly vast in many places. If the rich started to gain access to these technologies and enhancements, the divide could only worsen. In some speculative scenarios mankind actually branches into two separate species, the poor who become a slave-caste under the rule of the elite - those who could afford to become H+. Admittedly this is all unsubstantiated daydreaming at the moment, but who knows.
Back to the point I was trying to make - I was discussing this with my friend, as well as his use of the word 'utopia' and its rather amusing etymology and double meaning most seem to forget. I said that we as a society, nay, species are not ready to make that jump into H+, not until we outgrow our childish selfishness and differences. Greed is a vestige of our past, a survival mechanism that has at least outgrown its use, if not overstayed its welcome. We have the means to end so much suffering in the world, but we do not. Food and shelter are considered privileges, not basic rights. People still starve or die in wars waged for god and greed, even as we look at our species' own possible apotheosis on the not-too-distant horizon. I sincerely hope that we manage to shed this avarice before we reach that horizon, because mankind deserves only the treatment we mete out to the lowest of us in my opinion. If we do not all ascend, the schism between the haves and the have-nots can only escalate to something terrible. He agreed that the reality of the situation was indeed grim, and said he was certain we'd never mature past such greed. I still feel hopeful myself - if we survive long enough, who knows where we'll stand. Not a hundred years have passed since we women won the right to vote, indeed this past century has seen all manner of social reform. Perhaps there is a bit of hope for us yet, a twinkle of light in the haze of our turbid future. We've a long way to go, but we may someday make it.
Well now that I've bored you to death or tears at the very least with that pipe-dream future talk, let's move on to some smaller stuff. Why is it that people seem to feel the need to romanticize their emotional flaws? 'Flaws' ain't a misnomer folks - they are something to be worked on mending - not trophies to be proud of. I can understand being happy with having made it through some ordeal - gods know we all have, admittedly some more than others - but there comes a time when you put those scars away. I'm not saying to forget, that they shouldn't be a part of you - far from it. Pain is a powerful teacher, and it's lessons should not be made light of. There is, however, such a thing as playing the victim, and when you start using those scars as a crutch, as a blindfold to keep you from seeing wrong in yourself, that's what you're doing. It doesn't just stunt you as a person either - it hurts the people around you. When you lash out at people who care about you, especially from some delusional high-horse, you aren't making friends, and you definitely aren't garnering sympathy. It's hard to feel sorry for someone whose made a full-time job of feeling sorry for themself, especially under the guise of long-suffering self-sacrifice. If some people were anymore 'selfless', I think I'd run plum out of patience. Honestly though, there's a very fine line between being magnanimous and being a passive-aggressive cunt (pardon my vulgarity, but I believe no other term quite befits the gravity of this rant.)
Anyways, back to what I was blathering on about. Flaws. Flaws are called flaws because they are flaws. No matter how you glamorize them, no matter how you distort them to paint some pretty picture of yourself and - gods help me - your all-important uniqueness, they are FLAWS. If you're really so insecure in your character, in who you really are that you have to hide behind your failings to feel better about yourself, I am sincerely sorry. I know there's a fear among people that without their faults they're somehow less interesting or worse off, but it isn't true in the slightest. Once you start to get over those idiotic, adolescent foibles you start to see who you really are, and I promise you you're better off for it. If you thought those scars you cling onto were something to be proud of, imagine the pride you could take in overcoming them, in knowing that nothing - not even the worst parts of your life -can stop you being someone worth being. If you think hanging on to old wounds is unique or makes you interesting, it doesn't. There's hardly a less original way to lash out at society, so please take note.
In a similar vein, staying silent instead of asking for help doesn't make you selfless - it just leaves you feeling resentful of the non-telepathic people around, and it makes them unhappy. Real selflessness is asking how to help, letting other people in when they want to help you, and communicating. The silent treatment does nothing for anyone and just makes everyone miserable - though admittedly that is the goal of those who usually employ it (namely small children and manipulative wives) to achieve a sort of Pyrrhic victory, happiness for none, because if they can't be happy why should anyone else? This kind of freudenschade is the pettiest form of envy, the lowest greed I can think of - hurting others just because you're upset and they aren't. At least most greed comes from wanting something for yourself and disregarding who it hurts - this is just going out of your way to be a malicious little brat.
Most of the folks that pull this aren't even conscious of what they're doing - it's so ingrained in their learned responses that it's become a knee-jerk reaction. And woe be unto the one who points it out or dares to challenge it... I'm sure I'll be catching hell from several folks for all of this later, but it all needs to be said. There isn't a single word I've penned-err-typed here that I won't stand behind when they come howling at me either. I've been where they've been; I've been as petty, manipulative, greedy, and I got over it. I realized how I was acting, who I was becoming and I hated it, so I changed. I've also been as patient as I could, even in the face of endless hours of listening to pretentious angst-filled pity parties, because hey - people gave me the benefit of the doubt, and I got over it. I figure everyone deserves to have someone to rant to, someone to feel sorry for them that isn't also them. It's not until this kind of greed, this harebrained self-important immaturity starts to mess with people who really don't deserve it that I start to get peeved.
I should add that those people who I've mentioned do have it in them to change, and change for the better. Who knows - maybe they'll find something to inspire them in this rant and go off to better themselves, but more likely I've just gone and alienated a few of my closer friends. I'm sorry if I've ruffled any feathers, but honesty - frank, unforgiving honesty - has always been a bitter and effective tool in shaping my life. I only hope that said friends let it cut away the failings that taint their potential, and don't take it as an attack or betrayal, because it's meant as neither. Well I've probably gone and done enough harm for one night. Arrivederci, amici.
